One might assume that a second or subsequent marriage stands a better chance of succeeding. After all, the parties have learned from their mistakes and are less likely to repeat them with another spouse.
However, statistics do not bear this logic out. Rather, multiple marriages have even higher rates of divorce than first ones do.
So what causes these permanent rifts? Several marriage therapists offer theories.
Sometimes Spouse Number 2 was a contributing factor to the implosion of Marriage Number 1. As such, old ghosts can raise issues of trust and fears of infidelities.
Sometimes one or both of the remarrying spouses hasn’t adequately addressed the issues that caused the failure of the first marriage. Instead, they bury the issues or blame their exes. But that’s a recipe for disaster in subsequent relationships.
Other times, second marriages fail due to finances. First-time married couples are often broke, struggling with paying off student debts and having few assets. They are used to pooling money, debts and windfalls, whereas in second marriages this is far less common.
One spouse may have developed unhealthy spending patterns, while the other has accrued significant assets and achieved certain financial goals. If either has children from a prior union, it can complicate the matter further.
Then, too, once you’ve survived one divorce, it’s less of a fear factor. When problems crop up — as they inevitably do — instead of getting the counseling that could get the marriage back on track, couples again turn to the courts for divorce.
If you are contemplating remarriage, protect yourself and your assets with a prenuptial agreement. If you’re already remarried but it’s not working out, a Lincoln family law attorney can offer advice and counsel.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Second Marriages Are More Likely To End In Divorce. Here’s Why,” Brittany Wong, accessed April 14, 2017
