Relationships are hard. From the beginning of your marriage to the point at which you decided to end it, you likely felt every hardship along the way. Many people feel this way, and while you likely hoped that your relationship was different, marriages that once seemed so perfect could easily show cracks and damage after a time.
You may chastise yourself for being blind to the issues that you should have noticed earlier, but as the saying goes, love is blind. You and your spouse may have overlooked numerous aspects of your marriage that needed work simply because you loved each other and wanted to maintain that pretense of perfection. However, the lack of confrontation may have led to problems that seem insurmountable.
Common relationship misconceptions
Just as it is a misconception to consider your relationship -- or anyone's relationship -- perfect, numerous other misconceptions could contribute to unrealistic expectations and marital problems. Some of those issues include:
- Unrealistic ideas of finding "the one"
- Believing that passion must always be present
- Thinking you can make the relationship work even if you have different values
- High expectations when it comes to romance
- Thinking conflict avoidance is the best way to address disagreements
Any of these misconceptions or expectations could set a relationship up for difficulties. Making relationships work and choosing to end them are conscious decisions. Because perfect marriages do not exist, failing to communicate about issues and not discussing factors that could present problems in the future could cause a considerable rift in the relationship later on.
Dealing with issues
Because feelings of boredom, anger and a lack of passion can all cause individuals to question the strength of their relationships, it may prove wise to closely assess your marriage before deciding to divorce. You may come to find that some of the problems that seemed so insurmountable could actually be resolved effectively once you opened up a dialogue about the issue.
Of course, even after communication and discussion, you and your spouse could still come to the conclusion that ending the marriage would work in both of your best interests. If so, you may want to gain information on your legal options during divorce. By better understanding what to expect from the process, you may have a greater chance of determining how to work toward the outcomes you desire.